Donna's Boots

The night before the wedding and as arranged, Nellie, her Mum Dorothy (Dolly), Chelsea, Kate and I stayed at the Majestic. We carried all our paraphernalia to our rooms and then got together in Nellie’s to hang her dress and make sure everything was ready for the morning. Nellie was having her hair done but she had agreed that I could wear mine loose as normal because she knows I have a horror of hairspray. In fact, entre nous, it is Donna who hates it but I wasn’t going to tell her that. With everything checked and ready we repaired to the bar where we chattered, giggled and drank. Dolly spent a lot of time thanking me for acting in lieu of her banished husband (you may recall he had eloped with the woman from the Twerton fish shop). Dolly got a bit squiffy and revealed that her husband had had several affaires and in each case, she said, they were with people in the catering trade which for some reason made Nellie and me crease with laughter. Dolly also revealed that the earlier objects of his desire had been waitresses in hotels and the final straw for Dolly was when, as she put it, he ‘stooped to a chip shop!’


I think both she and Nelly were a little worried about what I was going to say in my speech but I wasn’t letting on. Even Donna had no idea, probably the only secret I had from her. I had told her that if I shared it with anyone and they didn’t reveal huge enthusiasm for it I’d lose my nerve. By mutual agreement we went to bed around eleven knowing that the morrow was going to be a big day for us all.

I went back to my room and unpacked. Nellie tapped on my door, saying she just wanted a quick chat so I let her in and listened to her obviously unnecessary but natural worries about the wedding. Thank God she buggered off after about twenty minutes and I undressed and showered, decided not to wash my hair because I’d do that in the morning, slipped on a nightdress and went to bed. I almost kissed Donna goodnight until I realised she wasn’t there. I was just dropping off when there was another tap at my door. ‘Bloody hell, Nellie, what now?’ I pulled the door open, not a little miffed and the figure in the long dark coat turned and grinned with mismatched eyes. Donna gently pushed me back into the room, closed the door and leant back against it, looking at me with a rather hungry, predatory look. She was wearing those lovely soft black boots with the faux spur straps, not that I noticed. She opened her coat and beneath it she was, boots aside, stark naked!

‘Donna, have you just walked across Bath like that?’

She nodded, ‘I was just having a nice Jill about you and I thought that it was silly. College is only quarter of a mile away, she can do it for me. So I slipped into this,’ here she shrugged the coat off, ‘and strolled round. Felt quite sexy actually.’ Then she sort of growled and advanced on me. I stood my ground and she pushed me back onto the bed. ‘Do as your told, College, I am in no mood for discussion.’

‘Unhand me, you villain.’

‘Oh, handing you is the very least I intend.’ She advanced again and this time I subsided onto the bed and she fell upon me. She was in one of her urgent moods There was no foreplay. She lifted my nightie and pressed her face between my thighs in an attempt, I imagine, to get me to her pitch of arousal. It worked. Then she crawled up me, engaged her mouth with mine while our nether parts conjoined in the lovely kiss that only they can enjoy. It was another ‘Puss n boots’ moment because she was still wearing them and a little later I was acutely aware of them since she was kneeling astride my face, her hands on the bed head and my hands were caressing the soft leather as my tongue lifted her to do that odd, corkscrew motion she does when the crisis arrives. Her urgency sated, she lovingly brought me to the same delicious conclusion and then held me as I drifted off to sleep in her arms.

I was woken by an urgent tapping at the door. Blearily I looked at the clock and saw it was gone nine. Donna lay undisturbed beside me and I slipped out of bed, pulled the hotel’s robe on and opened the door. ‘Let me in,’ said Nellie. I did. She saw Donna and smiled. ‘What are you like?’

Donna stirred and said, ‘Morning Cornelia. What brings you here this fine morning?’ I got back into bed and Nellie sat on the edge.

‘My God, I am so excited. You wait till I tell you.’ Donna urged calm and suggested she order tea from room service. She did then sat down again, composed herself and said, ‘You’ll never guess who is coming.’ Donna said that if Nellie hadn’t joined us there’d have been no doubt as to who was coming but Nellie ignored her. ‘The arse,’ she said cryptically. The tea arrived and caused a hiatus in her excitement. Donna told me to pour so that Nell could tell us more. ‘You know that rugby player who married the royal?’ We nodded. ‘Well, one of Dave’s mates,’ Dave is the groom, ‘used to play with him at Gloucester. He went to a do with him and he met the arse.’

‘I hate to appear dim, Cornelia’ said Donna, ‘but who exactly is the arse in question?’

‘Only THE arse.’ A light came on my mind.

Hesitantly I asked, ‘You don’t mean…..’ Donna looked at me quizzically but I rolled forward to hug Nellie. ‘My God!’ Donna grunted annoyed that she was not privy to the secret. I looked at her. ‘It’s only Pippa bloody Middleton!’ Nellie almost whooped.

Donna got out of bed and poured more tea, indifferent to her nakedness. Nellie looked aghast at the boots. I shrugged – that’s Donna.