Bath at the Centre of Science

The soft butch in the denims, blue silk camisole and black leather jacket set her pint of Aunty Mary's Old Jilling Ale down on the table opposite my gin and tonic and sat slowly into the chair. Her eyes, I noticed, were of different colours - one blue, the other hazel.

'You're an educated sort, I want you to explain something to me.' She pulled a folded copy of her red-top newspaper from a pocket and opened it at an article describing scientists' confusion over the need for sexual reproduction. The gist was that they didn't understand why animals developed the reproductive process as they did, rather than cloning.

'What do you think, then, Miss Graduate?'

'Well,' I said, 'There are a number of reasons. One is of course that cloning takes place in a test tube and you will recall from your bible class that God did not actually invent test tubes until, if memory serves, after he had populated the earth, having seen it was good, with animals. That has a lot to do with it. Also,' I continued,' it has a lot to do with pleasure.'

'Pleasure,' she asked, raising an eyebrow, her eyes locked on mine.'

I took a gulp of gin and explained. 'Cloning is not particularly rewarding for the single parent. I mean you never heard a cell in a test tube shouting, "God I'm dividing" where as, during intercourse we are inclined to shout something along those lines, no?' She nodded. 'Well, see, God wanted to encourage us to reproduce so he made it fun. Not just for us but for all the species. Common sense, isn't it?'

The light of understanding dawned in her odd eyes.

'But,' she said slowly, 'We, that is to say you and I, are of the Sapphic persuasion, am I right?' I nodded in agreement. 'Well, if, for example we were to engage in a little bit of the old "Let's make a baby" the act or acts in which we indulge would not actually lead to said baby, am I right?' I nodded again, a slight smile in my eyes and a sense that I knew where this was going.

'So, then, explain to me why God, in his infinite, made it as much pleasure as it obviously,' here she softly took my hand in hers, 'would be.'

'Don't you think that is something we should explore in a more private environment?'