The Complete and Uncensored Shit List

Altruism Want some shit? Amish: Shit dost occur. Apathism: I don't give a shit. Ba'hai: All shit is truly shit. Baptist Fundamentalism:  Shit happens because the Bible says so. Capitalism: How much will this shit cost? Marxism: The workers take all the shit, but they're gonna dish it back out again. Communism: It's everybody's shit. Creation Science: E We have proof that God created all the shit that happens. Contract Theory: If we don't agree to form society, everything will go to shit. Dadism: Your mom knows her shit. Darwinism: We came up from shit. Descartes: I shit therefore I am. Dianetics: Shit your way to a better life. Dyslexiaism: Hits shapnep. Discordianism: This MIGHT be shit, but is instead a fuzzy 1955 Mustang. Logical-Positivism Shit = S+H+I+T Marines: It's not just shit, it's an adventure. Mccarthyism: Are you now, or have you ever been, shit? Mennonte: None of this modern shit now. Momism: You'll eat this shit and like it! Murphism: Shit always happens at the worst possible time and place. Narcism: My shit don't stink. Nietsche: If you're not Ubermenschen, you're not shit. Nihilism: Everything is shit. Nixonism: Shit didn't happen, and if it did, I don't know anything about it. Nonsequiturism: Route 176 goes south. Objectivism: (Ann Rand) Shit is Shit. Paganism: Shit happens. And is a part of nature. Panglossism: This is the best of all possible shits. Platonism: There is an ideal shit, of which all the shit that happens is but an imperfect image. Rastafarian: Shit happens, but if it's all right with Jah, it's all right with me.  Robinism: Holy shit Batman! Russeau: Only natural shit is worth shit. Rastafarianism "Let's smoke this shit." Shinto: Shit is everywhere. So as long as you're stepping in it, show it some respect. Solpism: The only thing I can be sure of is that my shit happens. Stalinism: The state treats you like shit. Surrealism: Shit is shiny and shaped like a buick. Scientific-Creationism: Shit happens all at once Secular-Humanism: Shit happens, but there's a rational explanation. Taoism: The shit that happens is not the true shit. The Force: Do not be swayed by the Dark Side of the shit. TV-Evangelism: you need our shit, but it'll cost you. Utilitarianism: Do that which generates the greatest shit for the greatest number. Vandalism: I'm gonna wreck this shit! Voodooism: Shit doesn't just happen - somebody dumped it on you Xeno's paradox: It's logically impossible for shit to happen. Yoga: There's a full lotus shit happening. Transcadental Meditaton: Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit....... Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. Fundamentalism: If shit happens, they deserve it. Episcopalism: When shit happens, make it tasteful. Unitarism: Deal with your own shit happening. Twelve Step Programs: We're powerless over shit. Turn shit over. Astrology: Uranus transits. Perestrokia: We can't control shit. Let shit happen. Agnosticism: Shit may or may not be happening; we don't know shit. Atheism: No shit. Gnosticism: Know shit. Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. Zen: What is the sound of shit happening? Hinduism: This shit happened before. Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else. Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I work harder. Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it. Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us? Unitarian: What is this shit? Hare Krishna: Shit happens rama rama ding ding. 7th Day Adventist: Shit happens on Saturdays. Jehovah's Witness: Knock, knock, "Shit happens." Mormon: Shit happens again & again & again.