Tuesday, 15 March 2011
For My Beloved Catherine
Lyrics to Saving Grace:
One time around the block
2 times around the clock
3 times don't cross the little lady
So pretty & oh so bold
Got a heart full of gold on a lonely road
She said "I don't even think that God can save me"
(Am I) gaining ground
(Am I) losing face
(Am I) lost & found by Saving Grace
Thankful for the gift My Angel's gave me
Born alone
We die alone
Nuttin' but sittin' here by the phone
Waitin for the Lord to send my callin'
Street wise from the boulevard
Jesus only knows that she tries too hard
She's only tryin' to keep the sky from fallin'
Any man says it's Heaven & Hell
Prob'ly got somethin' useless to sell
You ask me if I'm saved but what's it to ya?
Blow a quarter
Cop another eighth
You're runnin' out of high, you're losin' your faith
Throw your hands up & scream halleluiah
Halleluiah
Halleluiah
Halleluiah
Halleluiah
Amen.
One time around the Sun
Another year older and my work ain’t done
Time for me to write the final chapter
Deal the cards and roll the dice
Sex, drugs, & rockin’ roll are my only vice
Trying to figure out just what’s hereafter…
Halleluiah
Halleluiah
Halleluiah
Halleluiah
Amen.
9 comments:
As many couples do, Cathy and I had our favorite television shows we watched together. One of these was a gritty program called ‘Saving Grace.’ We both adored Holly Hunter, who played the lead cop character, Grace. She had a crazy tobacco chewing Angel named Earl who was sent to try to reach her in such a way she might be able to save her own troubled soul. I vividly recall the last time we viewed it. I had just muted a commercial perhaps halfway through when Cathy quietly said, “I want my ashes spread in Carmel, and the theme song to ‘Saving Grace’ played at my funeral. Will you do that for me, Camille?”
I was so stunned I barely managed to voice assent and go to her. It was the first time in her four and half years of fighting breast cancer, which had by then become bone cancer, that she had ever broached the subject of dying. This song, I knew resonated with her because whenever it came on she would stop whatever she was doing and with a faraway look pause and carefully listen. What was most paramount though, had nothing to do with the music or the singer, but everything to do with the words of the song and the underlying message of the show and its main character, combined with the unique personal challenges she was also facing, almost parallel, along that same timeline.
It was the last time either of us watched Saving Grace. We saw a preview that night indicating Grace would die in the final season. After Cathy’s death I couldn’t also bear to see that occur, and I’m glad she didn’t either, because it would have made her cry and far too many tears had already fallen from her beautiful eyes. Sadly, because her family intervened, I was prevented from keeping either promise I made to her that night, which is why I am now sharing the song she requested here, on this anniversary of her passing. Thank you for listening.
*huuuggggggssss* I'm sure she's truly happy that you're sharing this. Thanks for sharing.
You have fulfilled that promise Moonbeam. You continue to fulfil it everyday. *hugs you tight.
Wow Camille, you're an amazing woman and I'm sure she was as well.
*hugggggs*
She's smiling down on you.
Thank you for this, brought tears & chills
I don't have the words. Hugs.
Camille: Words can never express themselves adequately when we try and convey our feelings and thoughts to someone who has lost a loved one. I offer you a big hug and reading your words, know that both you and Cathy were blessed to be part of each other's lives. I too searched for a poem or song and think Billy Joel may have held the right message for you:
Good night angel, time to close your eyes.
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me.
I think you know what I've been trying to say.
I promised I would never leave you
and you should always know.
Wherever you may go, no matter where you are, I never will be far away.
Goodnight my angel , and now its time to sleep.
And still so many things I want to say.
Remember all the songs you sang for me.
When we went sailing on an emerald bay.
And like a boat out on the ocean, I'm rocking you to sleep.
The water's dark and deep inside this ancient heart.
I thank each of you Jasmin, Saffron, Twister, and Jenny, for your kind words and sentiments.
Sammie, your Billy Joel message has me sobbing all over again, but in a good way...in a healthy theraputic way...as has the compassionate responses of everyone else. Thank you all for helping me embrace this day and honor her memory with such grace.
I am really happy everyone was able to band together to walk you through this, Camille, and help you. I'm certain if Kathy were here, she would tell you what you added to her life, and added different dimensions and colors, like an artist does, as they paint.
Let that thought light your way path, as you traverse all this. Know that you were loved dearly, which sadly, some people never know.Kathy may be gone , but that love you both shared will live on, with you, the rest of your days.
Thank you Nicky, your words and wishes mean the world to me. :)
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