I was sitting here, going through my new calenders, to put one up. It is
a new Girls Coffee Shop calender, complete with dates of interest. I
started to look through,to see if it might be pick on Saffy or Lauren
day / week. I never like to miss those events. I discovered it wasn't,
but that it was Confucius birthday. Confucius was of Chinese origin, and
an advocate, of among other things, a moral force, and harmonious
order. Confucius also had many sayings, and how to deal with the
complexities of life.
It has been said, to get the full effect of reading his book, one has to
burn exotic incense,and listen to Chinese music. I am told this is
akin to needing to consume copious amounts of hallucinogenic drugs,
before watching a Pink Floyd concert. I don't understand the
significance of doing this, but, that was way before my time. Confucius
was also a Buddhist, as well. I certainly am not a Buddhist, but
frequently read some of his wisdom, which I have found to be particularly
profound, in an ever changing, and complex society.
I wanted to convey some of these famous Confucius teachings,to help
everyone in their daily lives. These Confucianism's sadly didn't make
the cut, or the grade, to find themselves in the fortune cookies of your
local Chinese eatery, but are nonetheless, pearls of wisdom, from the
great Confucius himself.
1. Confucius say : Person who kiss woman's bosom, without permission,
always get busted mouth
2. Confucius say : Oral sex, makes one's whole day. Anal sex makes one's hole weak.
3. Confucius say : woman with fake boobs who wears a Guess T shirt should
not be surprised when someones guesses "implants " ?
4. Confucius say : never go on business trip, and promise to bring back a
gift for that special someone in your life , that they later have to go
to the doctors for, and get shots of penicillin.
5. Confucius say : Woman who lose virginity, will always have the box it
came in.
* I hope you have found these sayings to be as profound, as I have. The
Confucius wisdom book, is on sale,in the Coffee shop lobby. If you are
unable to visit, please send a self abused stamped envelope, in care of
the Girl's Coffee Shop, and we will rush out your very own copy.
Operators are standing by. * " thanks for the help, Lauren "
* Confucius remind you, on his birthday,go to a Chinese restaurant,and
have fortune cookie, and get some nookie
6 comments:
love it, babe! too funny
omg, roflmao. This is grrreat, Nicky! Can't wait for more! :)
Self-abused envelope *laughs. It’s always good to start my morning with a good giggle. Thank you
Gorgeous.
I recall Confucius had much to say about women who sit on men’s knees.
Convicted woman who sit on Judge’s knee get honourable discharge… plus
Naked woman who sit on jockey’s knee get red hot tip!
and…….
Woman who fly upside down in aircraft will have crack-up.
Smiles. Very nice. The only one I can remember is rather crude.
Confucius say: Gynecologist and pizza delivery boy are much the same. They only get to smell the pie.
Blushes and runs.
I love being juvenile, thank you. I'll be laughing all day.
Thanks for the comments, everyone. I am glad some people liked this . I had hoped people would have fun with this, and join in with their own material. I wasn't disappointed.
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