Get a whacko in your life

1 Life Will Go From Ho-Hum to Yee-Haw
You’re not going to sit on your duff and watch TV when you’re involved with a chick who’s cuckoo for cocoa puffs. No dull dinner-and-a-movie dates for her, no siree. She’s more likely to suggest sky-diving, piercing naughty body parts, or starting the day off with a shot or two of Jameson — in which case there’s no telling how you’ll end the day.

2 You Will Have Great Stories to Tell
Whether you have a blog, a budding fiction career, or just a penchant for telling tales at the bar, a crazy girlfriend will provide you plenty of raw material. Pretty soon, all you’ll have to do is preface a story with “One time, when I was dating Sabrina…” and your audience will be scooting their chairs a little closer. The only risk? Being accused of fabricating her outlandish antics.

3 The Gift That Keeps On Giving
Loony girls are not known for their ability to let go, they will stick to you like shit to a blanket for months even years, so the fun will continue even after you break things off. Let’s just hope that her legacy is flattering — say, being stalked, or devoting a blog to you —rather than one that burns, itches or requires expensive ointment.

4 New Experiences, Edible and Otherwise
Say sayonara to Taco Bell and Stouffer’s, since your mad-hatter mama is more likely to favor exotic taste sensations. Roasted bat? Prairie oysters? Deep-fried crickets? Goose-blood soup? If someone out there can cut it up or cook it, she’ll eat it. As long as you have a strong stomach—and you don’t own a pet bunny—you’ll have a ball.

5 She’s the Belle of Any Ball
Face it—every good party has a wild woman at its center. She might be doing commando keg-stands; she could be stripping on the kitchen counter. She will almost certainly make out with at least one other woman. She might even get banned from Lit! Going home with this girl earns you major bragging rights.

6 All Subsequent Girlfriends Will Seem Refreshingly Sane
Dating a psycho will put the peccadillos of any other woman in perspective. Noisy eaters, gossipers, snoopers, tailgaters, girls whose hair clogs up your shower drain—they all pale in comparison. And think of all the money you’ll save not having to post bail every week.

7 The Sexcapades
Insane in the membrane equals fantastic in the sack. Crazy girls will try anything twice, and can often be talked into a third time. Whatever fantasy you’ve been harboring—a three-way, toys, S&M, page 229 of the Kama Sutra—your lunatic lover will gladly give it a whirl. This makes having your very own girl gone wild worth the rest of the ride.