Auld Lang Syne

The New Year now stands before us bedraggled in all her widow’s weeds. Her once pristine summer frock torn by the autumn brambles and stained with winter snow. Suddenly the days have given way to hours and in the wings the infant year waits expectantly in all her nascent glory.

As we wait for this time of spiritual renewal, prepare to send our mistakes packing into the past, make resolutions and prepare for another fresh start, our anticipation is also tempered by nostalgia.

I’ve already started to pencil my New Year’s resolutions on the back of an envelope. Most seem to involve travel as opposed to correcting any character traits. Camille has indicated that if I bring my own George Foreman grill and learn to play the banjo I might get an entry visa for Texas. Although deep down I have a compelling urge, encouraged by Neha to ride on the roof of an Indian train (with my own punkah wallah of course) up to Assam to take the tea and buy a silk saree.

In the true spirit of "Auld Lang Syne" (the sake of old times) this is also a time for reflection. Nobody ever made this more poignant than Bob Marley.

I remember when we used to sit
In the government yard in Trenchtown
Oba, ob-serving the hypocrites
As they would mingle with the good people we meet
Good friends we have had, oh good friends we've lost along the way
In this bright future you can't forget your past
So dry your tears I say.

Certainly I’m not spared a moist eye, as there are good friends I too have ‘lost along the way’, but more of that later. In Britain politicians talk relentlessly about lessons to be learnt, a platitude that is used to launder a multitude of sins. In 2010 I’ve had not so much to learn, but relearn one of the toughest on-line lessons.

First. You can spend too much time here - and that’s from someone who has often been criticized for rationing my time here. On-line can be a delightful adjunct to real life, but it is not real-life. Despite being a delightful opportunity to escape the real world, it can also be a cruel parody of reality. Having said that, I continue to enjoy my time here meeting people from all over the world and sharing new ideas and customs. Whether it be discovering Bollywood, the miniature lighthouses of Arizona, being regaled with the joys of nipple clamps or being introduced to whole rafts of interesting new music .

As for the Blog we’ve managed to complete our first full year. On reflection no mean feat! We’ve had nearly 2,000 posts and around Christmas Day we passed a very significant milestone - over 40,000 hits! This journey however was not without excitement or controversy.

We began the year as the Girls’ Room, however the blog was destined never to make it to the end of the year. Two seminal events were inextricably linked to its demise.

The first relates to a very special friend I (and many others) ‘lost along the way.’ Someone I learned to trust totally and implicitly. I am talking about my dear friend Jess. The true meaning of words is often devalued by modern living, but Jess really was a sister to me. She brought a rare integrity and honesty to on-line life and became a beacon of light and laughter in the often sordid and dirty world of Lit Chat. She was a founder member of this blog and a constant source of inspiration. I know you look in Skater, so suffice to say I still love you.

The other seminal event was when ‘Rachel’ (another founder member) turned out to be Ainsley. In addition to much valid and just as often overly righteous indignation, the aftermath was rather akin to chucking a brick into a bog. The suppurating mess that came to the surface quickly put into perspective Ainsley’s puerile deception. It truly was an ugly time and the Girls’ Room never survived what became a selfish excuse by some launder other agendas.

Controversy still rumbles on and some of my closest friends still disagree over my stance over Ainsley. Despite the inherent paradox, he remains in my view a person of considerable integrity and honesty. Not a popular opinion I grant you, but I’ve never courted cheap popularity. Suffice to say ‘Rachel’s’ closest friends were, after liberal helpings of arse kicking the first to forgive him. Perhaps this is time to remember that as well as spiritual renewal, The New Year is an opportunity to put the past well and truly in the past and practice forgiveness.

This turmoil of course precipitated the closure of The Girls’ Room – always a Utopian dream – the idea you can allow anybody the right to anonymity and freedom of opinion on the internet. What we now have in The Girls’ Coffee Shop is something far more practical . We still have differences of opinion but have the maturity to respect the views of others . Our readership amusingly is now even higher even though 80% plus of our readers are unable to contribute.

As editor I would like to thank each and every one of you for your input, support, sense of fun, creativity and companionship during 2011.Without you all of this would be pointless. It’s also been good too welcome back old friends like Sammie, meet new ones like Gwen plus another Sam I’m told in the New year; I nearly added Camille to the list, but she has so quickly become such an indispensable part of the fabric of the Blog, it feels we have known her for far longer than we actually have.

Hopefully I might be excused if I say some personal thank-yous to a few people without whom there would have been no Blog.

First must be Liss without whose encouragement, unswerving support, vibrancy and creativity there would have been no Girls’ Coffee Shop. Even the name was her idea.

The next is my own Big Fellow - a modern day Michael Collins. That affable red-haired giant with a roguish glint in his eye, whose easy smile masks a razor sharp intellect. I am of course talking of Dan. Whatever kindness I ever offered him he has re-paid a thousand fold.

Then there’s my dear and loyal friend Mons who has shown me that our sexuality, is not a badge or an emblem. Not a declaration of division, but that we truly are of ‘the maine.’ An integral part of society, not at odds with it. That we are defined by our love of women, not some misguided hatred of men. And most importantly that whatever ails us we can always laugh.

My friend Judy whose relaxed wisdom, unflappability and ability to see things as they really are have helped me more than she knows.

Finally Nicky who like Rooster Cogburn has ‘True Grit,’ without whose friendship, love and support I would have left this on-line world a long time ago.

So, once more thank you all for your companionship. Without you none of this success would have been possible. I do hope that you and yours will have a truly happy and prosperous New Year