The Snow Leopard and I part II

The great day finally arrived and my new Dell computer was delivered. Ok it arrived late, but 34 working days was a small price to pay for a computer that had been lovingly hand crafted just for me. I took it out of its nondescript box with much anticipation and began to assemble it. The instructions were extremely limited and confined to ‘geek speak.’

I got the monitor out of its box and was puzzled that it only came with a blue analogue cable. Not to worry I had a spare digital (white) computer-to-monitor cable. I turned the monitor over to connect it and was puzzled to find there was no digital output. I cursed. I should have read the small print far more carefully. I had no idea people still made analogue flat screen monitors. As far as I knew all monitors had been digital for at least the last three or four years.

I finally got the computer assembled and by then had discovered that it had no wireless network card. Surely all computers came with them…?

I had no-one to blame but myself. I’d bought half a computer. I was just surprised that there was someone out there who made such ‘primitive’ machines. And what about the nice Dell man who had laboriously checked to make sure I’d got everything I needed? (ie selling me extras)

Despite being told that the operating system would come on a disk along with the drivers, there were no discs in the box. I was soon to find out why. Before I could use the machine I had to back up the operating system onto a DVD. I fetched a DVD disk and inserted it into the machine. I hit the next problem; the Dell didn’t read those kind of disks. I got in my car……..

An hour later I started the Dell up and began the roughly three hours long process of feeding DVDs into it. All because they couldn’t be arsed to provide a few system discs.

Meanwhile I rang up my friendly local computer supplier and began to explain my problems. I swear I heard him turn in his chair and call to his colleague ‘there’s an idiot women here bought a Dell!’ A wireless card might be a problem he suggested. They didn’t have wireless cards that would work with Windows 7. As he explained Windows 7 users would be testing the product for a year and then Windows would issue service pack one. No manufacturer was going to make products until that had taken place. Like me he appeared flabbergasted that I’d got an analogue monitor, but that part was easy, for £160 a nice 24” Ben Q widescreen monitor could be dispatched. Would it take 30 working days I asked? No he laughed it will be with you in the morning. Perhaps rather unkindly before I rang off he chose to remind me that they made computers to whatever specification I wanted and were available within 48 hours.

So I had one more day with my old XP machine. The next morning my new monitor arrived and I was nearly ready to go. The wireless card was still a problem. I had in my drawer a USB plug in wireless card which I’d used with XP. I rang the manufacturer and they confirmed it wouldn’t work with Windows 7. Being obstinate I started up my new Dell and plugged it in anyway. To my enduring surprise the machine identified it, wandered off to the manufacturer and downloaded a new driver and it’s worked ever since. Well done Windows I thought.

Thus I began. The machine was certainly very fast and I began to feel a suggestion of optimism return.

The machine then helpfully asked if I would like to transfer my files from my old computer. This seemed to go OK until I discovered they had all been placed in folders that even I as Administrator am forbidden access to. All my usual geeky friends can’t access them either. Nor am I allowed to remove them form my hard drive and there they sit today taking up space. However I must admit I haven’t tried Semtex yet.

The keyboard seemed extremely sticky – and no I hadn’t. Back then I didn’t realise I would have to end up having it replaced for sticking keys and that the next Dell replacement would go the same way. I now have a cheapo $10 keyboard from a local supermarket which works like a dream.

Of course the machine came loaded with lots of marketing opportunities – software which would work for a short while and then would require some outrageous payment to allow you to continue. There was also a lot of Dell propriety stuff that never seemed to work. Nor from reading everyone else’s experiences on the web does anybody else find it works. Simply removing all of this unwanted junk proved a problem and is still ongoing. Since then I’ve discovered other Windows users who bought from a different hardware manufacturer have not had the same raft of problems. Presumably because their operating system has not been ‘customised.’

By the end of week one, the computer was failing to boot up first thing in the morning. Bill Gates informed me that there was a serious error, but that windows would fix it. Windows went off to do what it does best - relentless disk churning and I went off for a coffee. Two hours later it was still churning mindlessly. It was then I remembered that Windows ‘fix it’ Wizards never work; they usually just hang up at some point. I switched the machine off and then back on and it worked. From this point onwards I discovered that this was a problem that only occurred when the machine was cold.

Furthermore using a women’s approach to computing, the following morning when it informed me it had experienced an inter-galactically serious boot error, I simply pressed the ‘ignore’ button and found all was well.

I concluded this problem was something that Windows would fix when they bought the ‘Beta’ version of windows 7 out. So every morning I went through the same convoluted process to switch the machine on.

Within days the inevitable shoals of Windows updates began to arrive to patch over the patches, but none fixed my problem. However there was another problem: every other time windows delivered an update, the next morning my PC would fail to find my desktop (stopping me accessing my programs) and I soon developed a work around where I started the computer in safe mode and then normally.

Worse was to come. Despite windows having a much vaunted ‘search’ facility, I found that I could never get it to work properly or if it did, incredibly slowly. Usually I was informed that ‘indexing’ was switched off. I found how to switch it on, but once I did so Windows promptly switched it off again. I have never been able to get this simple and vital computer function to work in Windows 7 and neither have my geeky friends. I have all my images on external hard drives so when I have any searching to do I now attach them to my old XP machine which searches quickly and efficiently without any problems.

I knew I was going to have to pick up the phone, but equally I knew what was going to happen, the hardware manufacturer would blame the software and vice versa. And so it proved. To suggest either Microsoft or Dell provide ‘support’ in the true sense of the word is a cruel misuse of the word to say the least.

Eventually I got Dell to resolve my boot problem. It seemed I had a faulty motherboard – some small bit that helps the computer work. In fairness once they got on the case and identified the problem they sorted it out quickly and efficiently in my own home. Sadly their technician left my internal DVD drive and card reader disconnected when he left, but that’s another story and besides there’s enough of a scientist in me to track the problem down and wire them up again.

Even more seriously one of my Windows many updates failed to take at an early stage and despite trying to load everyday since when I switch off it never has. This means I can never use the latest version of internet explorer (no great hardship) nor ever load service pack one.

That is where I am today. However after the first month I’d realised I hadn’t bought a ‘productivity solution’, simply an ill-conceived nightmare. My next door neighbour who works for a huge multi-national smugly told me – ‘my company has only just moved to XP now we think it’s stable. That night I counted my blessings and thanked God I hadn’t bought that awful piece of transitional bloatware called Vista.

Business wise I knew I couldn’t go on like this, so feeling totally fed up I went and did what I always do when I’m upset I went to see my big sister!

(to be continued)