Auntie Jill's Jillings

Dear Auntie,
The other day I came across my wife looking at your blog, when I thought she was doing Tesco On-Line. To start with I was shocked given her cavalier disregard for her domestic chores and even more so when I discovered your content. Now I find myself visiting daily when I’m at work and have become addicted to the adventures of Donna, College, Thrupenny and Georgina. Should I be concerned? Given your recent letters diagnosing people’s problems I wondered what you what kind of syndrome I might be suffering from?
Jack

Dear Jack,
I assume you wife is called Jill? You will be relieved to hear that all you are suffering from is good taste. However please do not let your wife visit Tesco on-line for protracted periods without little intermissions for light relief. Maybe you should take turns at doing Tesco on-line? As you are the first couple we have heard from on the blog I’m sending you two ‘I love Jilling’ badges.
Auntie Jill.

Dear Auntie,
I am relatively new to chat rooms and I find it difficult to understand why the first question people ask is asl? and then when I provide the answer they clear off without even a thank-you. If my chat name is Diana 32 I would have thought my gender and age are pretty obvious, why is my location important?
Scheherazade

Dear Scheherazade,
You’re quite right nobody in their right mind is likely to spend a night with the king on the basis of a quick ‘ASL’. It sounds to me if you have been visiting Chatavenue or some similar chat room. Here ASLers are very common, in fact ‘ASL’ is the mating call of a sub species called the fucktard cretinous-cretini. Many get their jollies solely by ASLing people after which no other input is necessary. In fact most do not have the linguistic skills to move beyond ASL.

Generally in chat I make it a firm rule never to respond to ASLers. As for location, the whole point of the world wide web is that it makes location irrelevant. A small minority require location because they are either looking for a meet or indulge in phone sex. For personal security reasons avoid both like the plague.
Auntie Jill


Dear Auntie Jill,
Increasingly in my off and on-line life I seem to be under increasing pressure to shave. I’m being made to feel like some kind of freak if I don’t and would like to ask your opinion.
Hiruste

Dear Hiruste.
I assume here you are not talking about armpits (or moustache). My simple answer to your question is if you feel uncomfortable about shaving don’t. However you asked my opinion and I do recognise this is going to be a really controversial issue, so please accept this is my personal opinion. This is not a right-wrong issue. It’s solely a matter of choice.

Somebody much wiser than me said ‘hair is there for a reason-it’s the leaf around the flower, the lawn around the house.’ And yet when women get together pubic hair always seems a touchy subject if you excuse the pun. Some women need to shave constantly, and even declare they would turn a woman down if she had pubic hair. Other women have no preference for their partners, and some like them full and bushy. Some women trim, some shave in designs (the infamous landing strip being one), and others just let it grow wild and free.

I have been with women on all areas of the spectrum - shaved, trimmed, and au natural. I myself have gone all three routes. And after much experimentation, I have come to a few conclusions:

1. I cannot shave, and refuse to shave for a partner. I have extraordinarily sensitive skin. If I shave, I break out and end up being in pain until it grows back in. I’ve tried different methods, but it just doesn’t work for me. Plus…

2. Personally, do not like the look of a shaved lunch box. It reminds me of prepubescence and frankly this creeps me out. Plus, it makes a lot of vaginas look puffy and angry.

3. Stubble hurts. I really dislike going down on a girl who shaves. Because there is almost always some stubble, and since I like to take my time and get pretty into it, I end up looking like I just made out with a wad of sandpaper. So it just isn’t a pleasant experience for me.

4. On the other hand, ‘Wild and Free’ can be a little too much. So basically I’m a judicious trimmer. For me it’s far more important that a girl keeps her private parts clean and healthy

So in short I’m not a hardwood floors gal, but I do think it is important to trim. I hope this answers your question.
Auntie Jill.