Auntie Jill's Jillings

Was there a full moon last night? It seems that the loonies are out in force today from the contents of my post bag.

The first is a very official looking letter from a Dr linus Sanchex (yes it’s true he can’t even capitalise his own forename). Here are some excerpts:

We are pleased to inform you of the results of THE EURO MILLONES - LA PRIMITIVA MULTI-MILLION LOTERIA BONANZA held on 21ST of MAY, 2011. Your name attached to Ticket Number: 757-01467446-224, Batch Number: 10000488, Reference Number: EG/008045160003/OCT/10, Winning Number: 07-07-14-25-44-02-04, Prize Claim Track Number: X-7007891324-Z which consequently won the lottery on the 3rd category.

CONGRATULATIONS!!

You have therefore been approved for a lump sum payout of US$9,765,810, 00(Nine Million, Seven Hundred and Sixty Five Thousand, and Eight Hundred and Ten Dollars) in cash credited to file Claim File Number: EG/008045160003/OCT/10.

All I am required to do receive this princely sum is to provide:

(1) My Full Name:
(2) Residential Address:
(3) Phone, Fax and Mobile #:
(4) Profession, Age and Marital Status:
(5) Company/Business Name:
(6) International Passport/ID:

Plus doubtless at some later date my inseam measurement, DNA sample and bank account details?

Now we come to our old friend ‘Amy’. On this Blog we’ve met ‘Amy’ in many guises in the past, although we all know who she is. Today ‘Amy’ writes to say:

Dear Auntie Jill
Has anyone thought about or asked:
Why Camille suddenly went,
Why a real life friend of Camille, Kinnie coco puff made an impassioned plea to be removed from the list, or:
Why no comment was made on either departure or,
Why Morinella has never contributed, or:
Why Quinnie no longer contributes, or:
Why only about 6 people actually contribute.
Could the answer be in the attached?
As Abraham Lincoln said:
“You may fool all the people some of the time, you can even fool some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all the time.”
On the other hand, some people just like to be fooled
Amy
Amy

Well Amy Amy. Was that a stutter you have developed, or was that just an echo in your little head?

I could begin by saying that everyone here is sick of your ramblings. However in the true spirit of Auntie Jill I’m going to try and help.

It’s never been my policy to comment on blog members, or their comings and goings, but perhaps it’s sufficiently germane to note that the respected blog member who you allege ‘suddenly went’ actually posted a comment here today! As she did yesterday and the day before. Need I go on? I realise this may offend your construct of reality but as for the rest of your ramblings I am going rest my case on this one salient point.

As to the number of contributers, most blogs are written by individuals; perhaps far more relevant is the readership of our humble blog. People from all over the globe. In some weeks we receive up to 1500 pageviews.

As usual you append your rather unfortunate, usually anonymous missive to your e-mail which most people here have now received numerous unsolicited copies, so I shan’t dwell on that other than say after reading it most people soon have an intuitive grasp of what is the real truth and the motives behind it.

Perhaps it’s worth mentioning that there are many naïve souls who feel that they can say what they will on the internet with impunity. This is simply not true. I would advise you spend sometime carefully researching the internet on your jurisdiction’s position with regard to what can be said on the internet and what can’t. I suspect you might find it interesting.

What you must understand ‘Amy’ is that after nearly two years of your campaign, there are doubtless some who might agree with you, probably many more that don’t, but I would sincerely advise you that all are united in that nobody actually cares! Everyone has heard what you have had to say, they have made their own minds up, something which two years of nauseous repetition hasn’t helped and are now getting on with the rest of their lives.

The only hard ‘evidence’ that exists is that the person you make your allegations about is a happy, delightful, caring, kind, considerate, witty, intelligent person, who unselfishly gives up considerable amounts of their time to contribute through this blog for the wider good and is rarely heard to say ill of anyone including yourself: whereas I feel sure that there are many who might say with some justification quite the opposite of yourself.

Having just read the blog I feel our thought for the day is quite prophetic. Please take time to read it Amy and do get on with the rest of your life. There are I am sure some who might say that after two years you are seriously heading for some kind of clinical fixation.

Meanwhile I am forwarding you the US$9,765,810,000 dollars from Dr linus Sanchex so you can get some advice.

Best Wishes,

Auntie Jill.

Next a note passed onto me from one of our bloggers sent in by one of our many readers. The names have been removed:

hi XXXXX! occasionally i would like to leave a comment on the blog, i was wondering if this would be allowable for me.........it does say "Comments on this blog are restricted to team members." so i was just curious, thanks, and thanks for having the blog......XXXX.

Dear reader

The ideal solution would be to allow open comment on the blog which we have experimented with several times. Regrettably we have always had to curtail this due to the disruptive activities of certain people. So unfortunately we restrict comments to blog members.

My advice is write to the person who you sent your message to, they will send you an invite to join the blog. All you need to do is open up a blogger account. To do this all you require is an e-mail address (this will remain confidential) and choose a password. In your case I suggest you choose a blogger nickname like 'Cherry Blossom', to stop certain individuals harassing you. If you set up a blogger profile give as little personal information as possible and don’t give your e-mail addy otherwise you will get spammed by people like Amy.

Best wishes,

Auntie Jill.