One hundred thousand hits!!!!
Incroyable!
Our Blog was only four weeks old when my friend Jess insisted we attach a counter to monitor readership. Although only two and a quarter years ago, so much has happened since then, that it now seems like a lifetime. In those early days 10,000 visits felt like a wildly optimistic target to aim for. After all, who would possibly show any interest in our humble Blog? Never in our wildest dreams did we imagine we would one day reach the incredible total of 100,000 hits. Admittedly for the last three weeks we have been veritably limping towards the addition of a sixth digit, but yet today unbelievably here we are.
Since those early days the Blog has had many ups and downs. Readers and Bloggers have come and gone. Nevertheless it is important today in celebrating this splendid achievement, not to forget Jess, Liss etc and all those other wonderful people for their part in our success.
Personally, today is both a time for celebration, but also tinged with sadness. The reason being I’ve decided to finally quit the editorship of the Girls’ Coffee Shop.
Nothing new in that you might say - many of you will know that I have attempted to quit three of times before. More of that later perhaps, meanwhile suffice to say that there are three very practical reasons for going:
My life professionally and personally has become exceedingly busy and I sense 2012 will bring momentous and exciting changes. Not surprisingly, I wish to embrace them wholly and without distraction.
Secondly I feel strongly there should be a finite time one should spend on-line. Despite its many attractions there are also significant pitfalls. From the earliest days I have always rationed my time here having seen the affect it has had on others, particularly given how easy it is to confuse this world with reality.
Thirdly even though in practical terms the Blog has met and exceeded all its targets and despite the quality of the posts pushing ever upwards (the wonderful Donna series etc), I sense interest (or at least the willingness to participate) reached a plateau last Christmas. Realistically this is hardly surprising; the Blog was created back in the halcyon days of Chat, when our preferred watering hole was a place of laughter and excitement, where friends could meet and new companionship be had. Chat in turn begat the Blog which was designed to serve that community. However, as time went by people left and gradually those who remained became subsumed in the drama that cyber-lifers so endlessly need to create. Today our Chat alma mater is barely a shadow of what it once was. As our once vibrant community scattered to the wind, so did interest in the Blog. So in more ways than one this is an opportune time to pick up my bedroll and go.
The Blog has been part of my morning routine for so long it will take some time to re-orientate myself. Every morning wind, rain, hail, snow or sunshine I have gone for a run with my dogs. Half an hour of mindless physical exercise, during which I have tossed around ideas and crafted the posts for the day’s Blog. Then on return home, a quick shower, a cup of Yorkshire tea and then 20 mins Blogging before beginning the day’s work.
Despite having announced my swan song before, perhaps I might be afforded a moment for personal refection and perhaps explain why three previous attempts to leave were unsuccessful (leaving aside every woman is allowed to be contrary once in a while)
My first attempt at exodus was when The Girl’s Room closed; drowned in the mindless spite of the Harridan Tendency. Yet within a week such was the outcry I was cajoled into creating the Girl’s Coffee Shop. I guess as an Englishwoman I’ve always taken a very Kiplingesque view to life:
…If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;…
…If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: ..
The second time was when my friend Jess left. Many people have enriched my life while I have been here with their wit and wisdom, but Jess more than anyone else was my soulmate. We were an unexpected and surprising synergy. In many ways she was quite unlike the ditzy New York girl she liked to portray. Jess was a woman of rare beauty, with a peerless grasp of common-sense and street savoir faire and a fathomless zest for life. She was also within the murky world of chat a person of remarkable compassion, honesty and integrity.
When she left, it felt like the ‘day the music died,’ and despite feeling it time to go myself, I was conscious I had responsibilities to my other friends. After all that is what differentiates friends from acquaintances. Consequently I made up my mind to stay a little longer.
Around this time another wholly unexpected reason to stay emerged. Out of the blue one of chat’s cyber lifers, anonymously unleashed a campaign of vilefication directed at me. Inevitably, like Rudyard Kipling I knew the only way to deal with such people is to face them down quietly with dignity. So instead of driving me away, the outcome proved quite the opposite. Eventually, she became the prime mover in discrediting herself. Obsession (two years and counting) proves nothing and I always felt that those whose opinions I valued would soon read between the lines.
…If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise…
By last summer the point of vindication was well past. Several previously unknown recipients of the unfortunate missive she peddled had become firm friends and some even joined the Blog. As one said: ‘you seemed so dissolute, Machiavellian, and wicked I simply had to meet you.’ Staying simply to make someone look foolish would of course be wrong, but making me a cause célèbre does ensure the next time my detractor loses her ‘Precious’ she will never be able to do this again.
Nevertheless, hard feelings I have none. I wish her well and hope she finds the happiness she so clearly seeks.
The third occasion was when I sought to hand over the reins of the Blog last summer. Late in the day I realised the Blog was about to be cannibalized, to allow another Blog to be set up elsewhere and so this proved to be when the style and ethos of the Blog were plundered wholesale right down to the little logo ‘Tick-Tock’ over the counter. I was alerted when some Bloggers expressed anger that privileged access to their confidential e-mails had been misused to provide invitations to the new Blog. Charitably I wondered if I was guilty of misjudgement, however an unfortunate poem and the crudely-staged, theatrical withdrawal from the Coffee Shop by one of the co-conspirators proved otherwise.
Notwithstanding this, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and it is not for me to second guess other’s motives. Nor judge, until I have as they say walked several miles in their shoes. Progress is all about standing on each other’s shoulders and I wish the new venture well and I hope it proves successful and continues to blaze the trail created here.
..If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'…
Nonetheless, no-one likes to be duped and stubbornness took over and despite conflicting pressures I reluctantly took up the reins again. In doing so, I set myself the target of 100,000 hits, promising myself this would be the point when I finally made an exit. Back then it seemed far off and yet I must have had some prescience, as its arrival has proved uncannily timely given the increasing pressures on my life.
In many ways I’m glad I stayed, as writing alongside Monica has been enormous fun. In fact Chat and Blogging have provided a whole raft of formative learning experiences. Nowhere else could you meet so many people, from so many different cultures, with so many different ideas and attitudes. Ultimately of course you also learn a great deal about yourself. One of the strengths is that in this blind world you meet people you would rarely meet in real life. Normally we use a complex raft of senses to filter feedback from our environment. We decide who we would like to speak to and who we wouldn’t, using a range of experiences and prejudices. Few of these senses work on-line, so new people often have a significant surprise value. Largely it all works out well, even though you are forced to confront your prejudices and explore new ways of looking at things. Notwithstanding this, it can also provide some scary surprises too.
What in many ways you experience here is a world of greater extremes. From truly beautiful people to people you could never imagine you shared this planet with. Not surprisingly it has equipped me with greater understanding and compassion and even more so forced me to confront how fortunate I am as well as my own shortcomings.
Some people here have reached out and touched me with their warmth and souls in a way that has been truly profound. In a way Cyberspace is the new Wild West, it is untamed, it is dangerous, but it also holds limitless possibilities and opportunities and we should all be on guard against Governments and weak and vacuous politicians who seek to constrain it.
Undoubtedly the saddest part of leaving this Blog is the knowledge that there is no-one to take it over, however I do realise the size of the commitment and appreciate that its sell-by date has probably been and gone. Rather than let it limp on to die and lay a sad shell of it’s former glory, out of respect to all those who have contributed over the last two years I feel the most sensible thing is simply to shut it. I seek no comment on its passing as I was overwhelmed by the valedictory messages I received last summer. As a result I am closing ‘comment’ for my last editorial.
Suffice to say being here and sharing your company on this voyage of discovery has been a pleasure and a privilege. There are so many people to thank for accompanying on me this journey and I know that in the emotion of the moment I am bound to forget some of you, so please forgive me.
First many thanks to the stalwart readership from so many different countries, people who I will in all probability never know or meet and yet have been a large part the raison d' être for the Blog.
Many others I have been heavily reliant on for encouragement support and inspiration. They include: From the early world of Chat: Amaia a constant source of fun and inspiration. Karen who I learnt so much from, strenuously disagreed with, but who still shared with me some wonderful times. Kellie, Anne, Pearls, Web Cowboy, David, Whiz and all the great guys in The Lobby. Rhiannon, Sara, Tat, Macie, Islandergirl, CP, Amy, Sandy, Lacy, Sadie, Brenda, Erin, Gator Girl and more latterly Macbeth’s Witches and all the founder members of Gollum Watch who so kindly reached out to me to offer support.
Then of course the Bloggers themselves: Ainsley, Annabelle, the talented Camille (who worked unstintingly to provide copy), kind and gentle Cat who I rarely see now, to whom I was always ‘Saffykins’, Jasmin, Lisa (my mentor from my chat days), Liss (for support and inspiration), Lola, Manda, Mary (with whom I had many enjoyable journeys), Neha, Nikki, Nikkie (for introducing me to blogging) , Sam, Samantha, Twisty, Quinnie (for all her sterling work in the early days) and lastly China Girl, New Chatter and Caprice who had to adopt new nicknames to join the Blog but who are well known in Chat.
Finally my friends. Someone much wiser than me once told me that ‘if you find two or three real friends here you will be very lucky.’ It seems I have been exceptionally fortunate. My first day in Chat I was helped by a very nice guy who showed me the ropes. His last words to me were: ‘Chat is rather like diamond mining. You have to shift millions of tons of crap to find one small diamond.’ Wandawas the first diamond I ever found. Always there to help, always practical, always a joy, the most fitting word for Wanda is ‘unforgettable.’
Also from those early days Nicky my oldest friend and the most stout-hearted. My ‘home-girl’ who helped beat off the ‘cabbage patch’ girls and many others. Allison who embodies all the best that is America and with whom it has been a joy to share photography. Linda who hung on to support me even when she had far much to do elsewhere. Dan for simply being Dan. My ‘Wild Ginger Man’ and fellow alumni. Jenny the Wiggler, talented, funny always a joy to be with, and eminently loveable.
Finally two very dear friends, both resolutely loyal without whose support I would have foundered a long time ago. I know they won’t forgive me for saying this, but despite my egotism I’m still young enough to need someone to look up to and Judy and Monica have fulfilled that function for a long time. With both I have spent many happy hours chatting about cabbages and kings and sharing trials and tribulations. Their wisdom, common-sense, unswerving loyalty and love have made all the difference.
I know I’m really going to miss this Blog. Suffice to say I will take with me many happy memories. So to all of you, readers, acquaintances, enemies, fellow Bloggers and friends alike, many thanks for being with me on this journey. I hope you all continue to enjoy the world of Chat and Blogging as much as I did. Meanwhile Adieu and I hope your God always goes with you. Bye xoxo
“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!”
Jack Kerouac
Incroyable!
Our Blog was only four weeks old when my friend Jess insisted we attach a counter to monitor readership. Although only two and a quarter years ago, so much has happened since then, that it now seems like a lifetime. In those early days 10,000 visits felt like a wildly optimistic target to aim for. After all, who would possibly show any interest in our humble Blog? Never in our wildest dreams did we imagine we would one day reach the incredible total of 100,000 hits. Admittedly for the last three weeks we have been veritably limping towards the addition of a sixth digit, but yet today unbelievably here we are.
Since those early days the Blog has had many ups and downs. Readers and Bloggers have come and gone. Nevertheless it is important today in celebrating this splendid achievement, not to forget Jess, Liss etc and all those other wonderful people for their part in our success.
Personally, today is both a time for celebration, but also tinged with sadness. The reason being I’ve decided to finally quit the editorship of the Girls’ Coffee Shop.
Nothing new in that you might say - many of you will know that I have attempted to quit three of times before. More of that later perhaps, meanwhile suffice to say that there are three very practical reasons for going:
My life professionally and personally has become exceedingly busy and I sense 2012 will bring momentous and exciting changes. Not surprisingly, I wish to embrace them wholly and without distraction.
Secondly I feel strongly there should be a finite time one should spend on-line. Despite its many attractions there are also significant pitfalls. From the earliest days I have always rationed my time here having seen the affect it has had on others, particularly given how easy it is to confuse this world with reality.
Thirdly even though in practical terms the Blog has met and exceeded all its targets and despite the quality of the posts pushing ever upwards (the wonderful Donna series etc), I sense interest (or at least the willingness to participate) reached a plateau last Christmas. Realistically this is hardly surprising; the Blog was created back in the halcyon days of Chat, when our preferred watering hole was a place of laughter and excitement, where friends could meet and new companionship be had. Chat in turn begat the Blog which was designed to serve that community. However, as time went by people left and gradually those who remained became subsumed in the drama that cyber-lifers so endlessly need to create. Today our Chat alma mater is barely a shadow of what it once was. As our once vibrant community scattered to the wind, so did interest in the Blog. So in more ways than one this is an opportune time to pick up my bedroll and go.
The Blog has been part of my morning routine for so long it will take some time to re-orientate myself. Every morning wind, rain, hail, snow or sunshine I have gone for a run with my dogs. Half an hour of mindless physical exercise, during which I have tossed around ideas and crafted the posts for the day’s Blog. Then on return home, a quick shower, a cup of Yorkshire tea and then 20 mins Blogging before beginning the day’s work.
Despite having announced my swan song before, perhaps I might be afforded a moment for personal refection and perhaps explain why three previous attempts to leave were unsuccessful (leaving aside every woman is allowed to be contrary once in a while)
My first attempt at exodus was when The Girl’s Room closed; drowned in the mindless spite of the Harridan Tendency. Yet within a week such was the outcry I was cajoled into creating the Girl’s Coffee Shop. I guess as an Englishwoman I’ve always taken a very Kiplingesque view to life:
…If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;…
…If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: ..
The second time was when my friend Jess left. Many people have enriched my life while I have been here with their wit and wisdom, but Jess more than anyone else was my soulmate. We were an unexpected and surprising synergy. In many ways she was quite unlike the ditzy New York girl she liked to portray. Jess was a woman of rare beauty, with a peerless grasp of common-sense and street savoir faire and a fathomless zest for life. She was also within the murky world of chat a person of remarkable compassion, honesty and integrity.
When she left, it felt like the ‘day the music died,’ and despite feeling it time to go myself, I was conscious I had responsibilities to my other friends. After all that is what differentiates friends from acquaintances. Consequently I made up my mind to stay a little longer.
Around this time another wholly unexpected reason to stay emerged. Out of the blue one of chat’s cyber lifers, anonymously unleashed a campaign of vilefication directed at me. Inevitably, like Rudyard Kipling I knew the only way to deal with such people is to face them down quietly with dignity. So instead of driving me away, the outcome proved quite the opposite. Eventually, she became the prime mover in discrediting herself. Obsession (two years and counting) proves nothing and I always felt that those whose opinions I valued would soon read between the lines.
…If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise…
By last summer the point of vindication was well past. Several previously unknown recipients of the unfortunate missive she peddled had become firm friends and some even joined the Blog. As one said: ‘you seemed so dissolute, Machiavellian, and wicked I simply had to meet you.’ Staying simply to make someone look foolish would of course be wrong, but making me a cause célèbre does ensure the next time my detractor loses her ‘Precious’ she will never be able to do this again.
Nevertheless, hard feelings I have none. I wish her well and hope she finds the happiness she so clearly seeks.
The third occasion was when I sought to hand over the reins of the Blog last summer. Late in the day I realised the Blog was about to be cannibalized, to allow another Blog to be set up elsewhere and so this proved to be when the style and ethos of the Blog were plundered wholesale right down to the little logo ‘Tick-Tock’ over the counter. I was alerted when some Bloggers expressed anger that privileged access to their confidential e-mails had been misused to provide invitations to the new Blog. Charitably I wondered if I was guilty of misjudgement, however an unfortunate poem and the crudely-staged, theatrical withdrawal from the Coffee Shop by one of the co-conspirators proved otherwise.
Notwithstanding this, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and it is not for me to second guess other’s motives. Nor judge, until I have as they say walked several miles in their shoes. Progress is all about standing on each other’s shoulders and I wish the new venture well and I hope it proves successful and continues to blaze the trail created here.
..If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'…
Nonetheless, no-one likes to be duped and stubbornness took over and despite conflicting pressures I reluctantly took up the reins again. In doing so, I set myself the target of 100,000 hits, promising myself this would be the point when I finally made an exit. Back then it seemed far off and yet I must have had some prescience, as its arrival has proved uncannily timely given the increasing pressures on my life.
In many ways I’m glad I stayed, as writing alongside Monica has been enormous fun. In fact Chat and Blogging have provided a whole raft of formative learning experiences. Nowhere else could you meet so many people, from so many different cultures, with so many different ideas and attitudes. Ultimately of course you also learn a great deal about yourself. One of the strengths is that in this blind world you meet people you would rarely meet in real life. Normally we use a complex raft of senses to filter feedback from our environment. We decide who we would like to speak to and who we wouldn’t, using a range of experiences and prejudices. Few of these senses work on-line, so new people often have a significant surprise value. Largely it all works out well, even though you are forced to confront your prejudices and explore new ways of looking at things. Notwithstanding this, it can also provide some scary surprises too.
What in many ways you experience here is a world of greater extremes. From truly beautiful people to people you could never imagine you shared this planet with. Not surprisingly it has equipped me with greater understanding and compassion and even more so forced me to confront how fortunate I am as well as my own shortcomings.
Some people here have reached out and touched me with their warmth and souls in a way that has been truly profound. In a way Cyberspace is the new Wild West, it is untamed, it is dangerous, but it also holds limitless possibilities and opportunities and we should all be on guard against Governments and weak and vacuous politicians who seek to constrain it.
Undoubtedly the saddest part of leaving this Blog is the knowledge that there is no-one to take it over, however I do realise the size of the commitment and appreciate that its sell-by date has probably been and gone. Rather than let it limp on to die and lay a sad shell of it’s former glory, out of respect to all those who have contributed over the last two years I feel the most sensible thing is simply to shut it. I seek no comment on its passing as I was overwhelmed by the valedictory messages I received last summer. As a result I am closing ‘comment’ for my last editorial.
Suffice to say being here and sharing your company on this voyage of discovery has been a pleasure and a privilege. There are so many people to thank for accompanying on me this journey and I know that in the emotion of the moment I am bound to forget some of you, so please forgive me.
First many thanks to the stalwart readership from so many different countries, people who I will in all probability never know or meet and yet have been a large part the raison d' être for the Blog.
Many others I have been heavily reliant on for encouragement support and inspiration. They include: From the early world of Chat: Amaia a constant source of fun and inspiration. Karen who I learnt so much from, strenuously disagreed with, but who still shared with me some wonderful times. Kellie, Anne, Pearls, Web Cowboy, David, Whiz and all the great guys in The Lobby. Rhiannon, Sara, Tat, Macie, Islandergirl, CP, Amy, Sandy, Lacy, Sadie, Brenda, Erin, Gator Girl and more latterly Macbeth’s Witches and all the founder members of Gollum Watch who so kindly reached out to me to offer support.
Then of course the Bloggers themselves: Ainsley, Annabelle, the talented Camille (who worked unstintingly to provide copy), kind and gentle Cat who I rarely see now, to whom I was always ‘Saffykins’, Jasmin, Lisa (my mentor from my chat days), Liss (for support and inspiration), Lola, Manda, Mary (with whom I had many enjoyable journeys), Neha, Nikki, Nikkie (for introducing me to blogging) , Sam, Samantha, Twisty, Quinnie (for all her sterling work in the early days) and lastly China Girl, New Chatter and Caprice who had to adopt new nicknames to join the Blog but who are well known in Chat.
Finally my friends. Someone much wiser than me once told me that ‘if you find two or three real friends here you will be very lucky.’ It seems I have been exceptionally fortunate. My first day in Chat I was helped by a very nice guy who showed me the ropes. His last words to me were: ‘Chat is rather like diamond mining. You have to shift millions of tons of crap to find one small diamond.’ Wandawas the first diamond I ever found. Always there to help, always practical, always a joy, the most fitting word for Wanda is ‘unforgettable.’
Also from those early days Nicky my oldest friend and the most stout-hearted. My ‘home-girl’ who helped beat off the ‘cabbage patch’ girls and many others. Allison who embodies all the best that is America and with whom it has been a joy to share photography. Linda who hung on to support me even when she had far much to do elsewhere. Dan for simply being Dan. My ‘Wild Ginger Man’ and fellow alumni. Jenny the Wiggler, talented, funny always a joy to be with, and eminently loveable.
Finally two very dear friends, both resolutely loyal without whose support I would have foundered a long time ago. I know they won’t forgive me for saying this, but despite my egotism I’m still young enough to need someone to look up to and Judy and Monica have fulfilled that function for a long time. With both I have spent many happy hours chatting about cabbages and kings and sharing trials and tribulations. Their wisdom, common-sense, unswerving loyalty and love have made all the difference.
I know I’m really going to miss this Blog. Suffice to say I will take with me many happy memories. So to all of you, readers, acquaintances, enemies, fellow Bloggers and friends alike, many thanks for being with me on this journey. I hope you all continue to enjoy the world of Chat and Blogging as much as I did. Meanwhile Adieu and I hope your God always goes with you. Bye xoxo
“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!”
Jack Kerouac
